Gretchen Beilfuss Witt
May 29, 2009


Rice and Brooms

Well wedding season is upon us. Did you ever wonder where some of the traditions of weddings originated? Although not as common as it once was, June is a favorite month for nuptials. Juno, the Roman goddess for whom June is named was patron of marriage in the Roman culture thus marriages in June got off to auspicious beginnings. Did you know that in 1866 a young man showed up at Tuxedo Park in New York with the tails of his formal dress coat missing? He explained that the Prince of Wales was currently sporting a similar style and the tuxedo was born. Did you know that in many cultures the groom set out to kidnap his bride either feigning (and with permission) or by force? Who better to help then his ‘best’ man, his close friend or lieutenant who would be the strongest or surest in the fight for his bride. The role of the best man is a little less violent today but still an important source of support and indication of friendship.
Although the groom traditionally requests ‘the hand ‘ of his bride in marriage, an old legend declares that during Leap Year a woman could propose to her chosen groom. However, the law in the British Isles during Medieval times claimed a single man who declined a woman’s proposal during Leap Year had to compensate her with a kiss and a silk gown. Similar laws were introduced in Europe and the custom was legalized in France and parts of Italy by the 15th century and continued in the Great Britain and Europe until the 19th century.
Once the bride has agreed to a marriage, the whirlwind descends. Whether a long engagement or an elopement, a civil or religious marriage, decisions are made and customs are reenacted. Many like to honor their heritage whether ethnic or religious; any number of sources will help you make your own choices for this special day. “Jumping the Broom” by Harriette Cole speaks specifically to the African traditions and gives some information about African customs as well as American adaptations. “A Simple Wedding” by Sharon Hanby-Robie and “Wedding Goddess” by Brockway, both encourage a variety of ways to make the day special and stress free along with respecting spiritual needs. For tidbits and decorum help from choosing flower colours to finding out that the first diamond engagement ring was given by Archduke Maximillian of Austria to Mary of Burgundy in 1477, turn to “Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette.”
Interested in the unusual or uncommon, take a look at Verrill’s Strange Customs, Manners and Beliefs” or Tuleja’s “Curious Customs”, both are chockfull of marvelous stories that enrich our understanding of marriage rituals world wide. For instance in the Cook Islands, the young men lay on the ground before the bride making a bridge so she may walk on them in the processional. In Germany, while the men have the bachelor party, the bride and her friends smash crockery outside the house which the bride sweeps up to ensure good luck and prosperity for the marriage. The rites of marriage are as diverse as they are curious; whether planning for a wedding or a student of anthropology satisfy your curiosity with a good book.
P.S. The next Leap Year is 2012.