Library Notes
Rebecca Hyde – May 8, 2009
How can “talk” change our lives? That is the subtitle of Theodore Zeldin’s book “Conversation,” which began as a series of broadcasts on the BBC. Zeldin, born in Palestine, is an Oxford University historian, a philosopher, management consultant, and radio personality. He has conducted his “human audits” in the workplace, within families, and among different cultures. In this little book, he summarizes the history of conversation, of conversational revolutions that have given us the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, and modern times. Along the way, rhetoric became a weapon of war, scientific clarity became jargon, and women tried to introduce emotions as a topic of conversation.
Why is conversation so powerful? It is not just about conveying information or sharing emotions. It is creative: “Conversation is the meeting place of minds with different memories and habits.” Facts are not only exchanged; new implications are drawn, and new trains of thought are taken.
Why is conversation so important? It can create equality. In a family, it enables people of different temperaments and different ages to live together. In the workplace, it can overcome problems of specialization, education, and of jobs that have become too narrow.
Along with “provocative” drawings to stimulate discussion, Zeldin provides practical suggestions in the form of thirty-six conversational topics on work, love, technology, and family. We can become more agile, more charming, if we wish, and perhaps more clear-sighted.
For more practice in conversation, browse the following book titles.
“The Art of Civilized Conversation,” by Margaret Shepherd, is a guide to “expressing yourself with style and grace.” In an electronic society, talking face-to face is the most basic form of social interaction, but it leaves many people feeling tongue-tied. For Shepherd, it is a highly practical skill, which can be polished. Think of it as the “Swiss Army knife of social skills,” which you can take anywhere you go.
In “How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere,” Larry King shares his secrets to good communication. Besides covering the basics in “Talk 101,” King entertains with examples of the best and worst conversationalists from his own experience: Frank Sinatra and Bill Clinton are among the “good.”
Leil Lowndes’ “How to Talk to Anybody about Anything” is a directory of opening conversational gambits or icebreakers. For example, in talking with professional athletes, you might ask about mental training or pre-performance routine. With movement or “cult” followers, ask what the group believes in, or why they joined. Ask stamp collectors what area of philately interests them the most.
“Miss Manners’ Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say,” by Judith Martin, is a review of etiquette in conversation, including advice and useful phrases plus humor. Let’s not cast aside conventional forms in favor of creativity and improvisation. In everyday life, originality won’t do. Etiquette can provide people with the right thing to say because it expresses feelings in time-tested ways, appreciated and understood.
