Lynn Denison
October 28, 2007

The dynamics of the relationship between the baby boomer generation of parents and their adult children is an intriguing topic to delve into, especially if you, like me, are a “boomer” with grown children. According to an article in the November/December 2006 AARP magazine, today’s young adults are confronting higher hurdles on the path to independence than previous generations. A University of Michigan study based on Census Bureau data reports that since 1970 the number of adults ages 25 to 34 living in a parent’s home has ballooned by more than 50 percent, to 39 million. Parents, on average, are spending an inflation-adjusted 13 percent more on their grown offspring.

One of the books available at Rowan Public Library that addresses this situation is Mom, Can I Move Back In With You? by Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer. Ms. Perlman refers to the phenomenon of parental involvement in grown children’s lives as a “cultural sea change.” She and Shaffer use the term “adultescence” to describe the prolonged period today’s young people often spend as no-longer-adolescents and not-quite-adults.

For a look at the situation from the young adult perspective, check out Boomerang Nation: How to Survive Living with Your Parents . . . the Second Time Around. In this insightful book written in a lighthearted style Elina Furman offers sensible suggestions to help everyone in the family deal with redefined relationships.

Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship between Adult Children and Their Parents is a warm, witty book that both parents and their grown offspring can enjoy. Author Jane Isay relates that many baby boomer parents have been involved in every aspect of their children’s lives. As these children become adults who no longer need or welcome parental advice, learning to relate in a new, healthy way can be difficult. Ms. Isay discusses many case histories of families she has interviewed, describing problems and discussing workable solutions that build strong, abiding adult relationships.

Generation Debt: Why Now Is a Terrible Time to Be Young by Anya Karenetz, looks at the financial problems that this current generation of young adults face. Another title that might be read in tandem with Ms. Karenetz’s book is Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled—and More Miserable Than Ever Before, by Jean M. Tweenge. Her book is a result of 14 years of research comparing the results of personality tests given to boomers when they were under 30 and those given the GenMe-ers (Gen-X & Y combined) today. Pick up this book soon to read her fascinating findings, enlivened by analysis of films, magazines, TV shows, and anecdotal stories from her life and others.

One last book that I’ve found very helpful is an old standby – Parenting Your Adult Child: How You Can Help Them Achieve Their Full Potential by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. This book is an invaluable resource for parents that deals with issues ranging from helping your child find success, dealing with anger, when adult children return with their children, religious choices, and positive parental love. The library has numerous other resources available on these topics. Make it a point to stop by to visit us soon.