by Stephanie Reister Rowan Public Library
I’ve been in a funk. It’s not a good Kool and
the Gang or Bruno Mars kind, so it has to go. I’ve turned to the library for help
to get in a better groove.
I read
Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness to learn about her idea of true belonging to
yourself and the world. She says, “Stop walking through the world looking for
confirmation that you don’t belong.” That really got me thinking. Since moving
miles away from the people and place I was most comfortable with, I’m still tentative
in making connections.
I find myself worrying about how I fit in
here. I’m an extrovert who has been holding back. Concerned that my sense of
humor and experiences may not click with the people I meet. Brown has a
response to that:
“True belonging is not passive. It's not the
belonging that comes with just joining a group. It's not fitting in or
pretending or selling out because it's safer. It's a practice that requires us
to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people
without sacrificing who we are.”
Brown’s words remind me that you can’t make
friends without some effort. You have to take a chance and reach out as your
genuine self. After the initial awkwardness, strangers can usually find common
ground to carry on a conversation.
I want
to also share more of my creativity, which includes writing. I’ve been using a
mantra to get unstuck. “The best (perfect) is the enemy of the good.” Voltaire
popularized this Italian proverb. It cautions us that the idea of perfection
can stop us from doing a task at all.
Elizabeth Gilbert addresses using persistence
to overcome the idea of perfection in her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. I like her conversational
tone and honest advice on the creative process, specifically for writing.
At the beginning of the book Gilbert gives a
long list of possible fears that prevent people from using their creativity. Seeing
those excuses in print gave me a clear perspective on how we easily trick
ourselves into procrastination.
Perfectionism is an ethereal obsession that
holds many of us back from taking action. She uses a colorful analogy to
discredit the idea, “I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a
mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it’s just terrified.”
Another key point Gilbert shares is that the
creative process is mostly tedious, unglamorous, and requires courage to be
disciplined. She asks, “What are you passionate enough about that you can
endure even the most disagreeable aspects of the work?” If you have a creative
passion, you have to make the time to carry it out.
To push forward with my own writing, I’m taking
a class through Gale Courses online. It’s free and easy to access through Rowan
Public Library’s website with my library card number and PIN.
I really enjoy the class and am impressed by
the instructor’s background. The homework and online discussion with fellow writers
persuade me to write regularly.
Even though I’m out of my comfort zone, I
will open up more to meeting people, sharing who I am, and using my creativity.
I’m bound to find the light at the end of my funk. Right now, I need to get
past perfectionism and a little insecurity to turn in this column.